I still have traffic coming through here and even though my world is upside down right now and I wasn't going to be posting for a while, I decided to do one anyway.
Things are strange right now. With the stuff I am going through, I have had to stop and alter my perspective on life a lot. As well, I have simplified things considerably. Not that I had a complicated life before, but I was knocked down to nothingness and that makes you see and do things differently.
Anyway...I have been hanging in there to 'do Christmas' as normally as possible. Got most of my Christmas shopping done, although this year it will be a quiet one since the kids will be with their dad.
The only other activity has been with my digital camera. She has been my constant companion and I have been diligent on capturing the sky and sunsets.
I've gotten better at taking it wherever I go and I've been good at getting shots while a passenger in a car! (I always thought a dirty car window would affect a photo...but it doesn't!)
Taken from car window while out running errands with my daughter.
I find myself always looking skyward, so I got to thinking, why the sky? Of all the millions of objects and things around me that I could be focusing on right now, it has been the sky. Each morning I look out my bedroom window and see what the morning sky looks like. Then, I follow it throughout the day from my balcony. The movements of clouds, the types of clouds and how one moment the sky will be clear and boring and the next I'm running to grab the camera because things suddenly aren't boring anymore.
The other day, I ran out to the front parking lot and was taking pics of the unusual sky just above the trees. I took one picture, then as I removed the camera and took in the area I had just shot, I saw an eagle flying directly over me. I tried to hurry and get a pic of it, but my camera takes a while to get ready for the next shot. I followed it in my view and did finally get a shot.
I guess looking skyward is a good thing right now. I have had many many days of feeling a lot of hopelessness, and even though I am working hard at not giving up, I sometimes feel - why bother? Looking up gives me a sense of hope and that we never know what is around the corner. This is one thing I learned from my years of depression...never give up because one never knows whats around the corner.
The sky's constant changes reflect the emotions we go through in any difficult time; from those moments of hopelessness to the moments of seeing a light at the end of the tunnel. The rising and setting sun give me a barometer, taking it day by day and seeing that within those two events, I decide how I will view each moment.
Right now a storm is moving in, I'm watching the sky as it changes. The dark clouds somehow are a comfort to me. Soon, it will be time to try and capture it all.
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